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Today I’m going to share something a little personal with you.  I have mixed feelings on posting personal affects on my business blog…but we are all human.  We all experience life, with it’s many ups and downs.  Highs, lows, sadness and joy.  I am no different.  I want to share with you my story.

 

Today is October 12, 2012.  This makes it 366 days since I last saw my aunt.  1 year and 1 day since she went to heaven.

A year has gone by.

This past year has been incredibly difficult for our family.  We all deal with grief differently…we all mourn in our own ways.  For me, there is something in my brain that refuses to accept death. I’m racked with fresh grief almost everytime I think of this time last year…and the days leading up to her passing.  I’m hoping now that we are into our second year, I will be more at peace.

My mother’s sister and I were quite close.  She was the boss in the family; a bit of a matriarch.  She was never afraid of telling you how you should be doing things or what you need to be doing.

After I got out of the military I moved to Toledo where my aunt was living and moved in with her for a couple of months.  She helped me get to know the city, helped me start over again.  When I got engaged and was planning my wedding, she was the one that helped me plan it.  She went dress shopping with me, she did all of the flower work for the church and reception…she just took over when I needed it the most.  She was there during my first pregnancy that ended in miscarriage, and there with me through most of my pregnancy with Ava.  She was like a second mother to me.  Right before I gave birth to Ava, she moved to Florida where a new job awaited her.

I only saw her a few times, every couple of years, when she would come back home to visit.  We talked on the phone and sent emails back and forth as often as possible.  I missed her and felt that some part of my life was missing.

A little over 2 years ago we got the news that she was diagnosed with Small Cell Lung Cancer.

It completely rocked our little family.  My grandparents picked up everything and went to Florida and my grandmother stepped into the Mama role again and took care of my aunt.  She was so sick from her chemo and radiation. My grandma is so strong and shouldered that responsibility and didn’t want anybody else to step in and help.

After fighting for nearly a year, my aunt decided to come home to see her family.  We had a small gathering with many extended family members (cousins, second cousins, etc) and she looked beautiful.  You would never have known she was sick.  About a week later she got very sick and was admitted to the hospital.

This went on a few times and she never returned to Florida.

But…she was right where she needed to be.  I truly believe it was all meant to be.

Hospice came into my grandparents home.  On October 7, 2011, my little family and I drove up north to see her and the rest of my family.  We got a call on the way up there that she was not doing well and to hurry.

I ended up staying at my grandparents house and helping my cousin, her son, care for my aunt.  Justin and the kids went home on Sunday and I stayed behind, feeling that I was needed more doing what I could do.  This was the first time the entire family was together in years.  It was just what Auntie would have wanted.

On Monday night, after the house settled down and it got quiet, I heard her cough.  This went on for awhile and then my cousin and I decided to stay with her.  We knew time was running out.

We lit a candle, held her hand, talked to her and prayed while we knelt on each side of her bed.  It was an excruciatingly long night and she gave it her best fight.  She passed away early the next morning on October 11, 2011, with most of her family in her room telling her goodbye.  I will always remember her last breath.

I miss her so, and her absence has left a hole in our family where she should be.  I am so saddened for my grandmother..no parent should ever lose a child, no matter their age.  My cousins who lost their only parent.

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of her passing.  I wore purple, which was her favorite color, to remember her by.  We sent up some balloons to heaven, to say hello and let her know how much she is loved and missed.

 

 

 

We love you Aunt Jackie.  I hope that sometime soon we can say your name and think of you with more smiles than tears.  You are missed.

Welcome to my life story for August. If you aren’t familiar with the life story series, it is a personal project that myself and several other photographers are participating in. It’s a monthly (bi monthly…etc) reminder to photograph the little moments in our own lives – the moments that tell our *own* stories.

Last weekend my family and I took a 4 day camping trip to Holland Michigan.  The weather was outstanding, the water was beautiful.  We had such a great time just spending time together and concentrating on US.  I took my camera to the beach and had so much fun just capturing the joy…I’m so glad I had it.  It’s the little things in life that are easily swept away when big things occupy our minds and hearts.  I even handed the camera over to the husband so I am in a few as well!  Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

I hope you enjoyed our days at the beach!

 

 

Please take a moment to continue the circle and enjoy Jessica’s beautiful work from Jessica Deane Photography

I am in a group of extremely talented photographers and we participate in a monthly thing called “Life Stories”.  I am taking it up and wanted to share my Life Story.  It’s pretty simple, just watch a couple videos.  My Life Story for this month….

I was asked to speak in our church last Sunday about a story that touched me deeply while I was in Haiti, up on stage, with 2 of my missions teammates.  I agreed but I was so nervous.  I am not a public speaker.  I am quite unsure of myself and so self conscious, so I was a basketcase.  But…I made it.  I did 3 services and had great positive feedback from it.  I also made a slideshow that was shown right before I walked out onto stage.

I am still processing my trip to Haiti.  I am in a bit of a “funk” I guess you could say…trying to sort out my feelings and this heavy hearted emotion that is sticking with me.  I hear it’s normal to feel this way.  I am so incredibly thankful for having taken this trip, for all of the people that have supported me along the way, and for all of the opportunities that have opened up since I have gone.  My eyes have been opened and so has my heart.  I would love it if you would take a few minutes and watch first, the slideshow, and then the next video where it shows one of our pastor’s speaking with the three of us.  It perfectly shows what I am feeling these days and what MY “Life Story” is this month.

Please take a moment and leave a comment…would love to hear from you. <3  When you are finished, please head on over to Nicole Ridella of Ordinary Days Photography and view herstory of a weekend getaway .

 

 

Slideshow:
;

 

And this is from Sunday’s service.  I come on right around 33 or 34 minutes into the sermon but please if you have time…watch the whole thing.  It’s about serving God.

 

Message 4.21/22.12 (Keith Luke) from crossroadson23 on Vimeo.

 

 

Are you ready for a zillion more photos?  Just when I think that I’ve got them all pared down….I realize I have a whole load of photos I want to share with the world.  So be it.  Let me pick up where I left off.

After church was over we walked back to the compound.  We rested for awhile and had lunch which was, as usual, delicious.  We had somewhat of a gameplan for the remaining afternoon and it was jam packed.  We wanted to visit some Voodoo caverns so we took a drive across town and went to one.  The flags were up (flags flying ..usually different colored ones…means there is a witch doctor present) and people were just lounging around.  Their faces were not welcoming when we drove up so we turned around and headed back into town.  We took a drive into the countryside again.  I will never tire of seeing the Haitian countryside.  It is so beautiful.

There were these little “stands” everywhere.  Haitians take big rocks (BIG rocks) and make smaller rocks and little tiny rocks out of them.  By hand.  With a hammer.  Then they sell the rock.

Naked children chasing us down the road.

After we took a drive we went to the orphanage to park so that we could hike.  We planned to hike up to the Second Fort up in the mountains.  There are a number of forts that start at the foot of the mountain and go up and up, and these were built a couple hundred years ago to defend themselves when the French invaded.  The first fort is in ruins and this is where the townspeople bathe and wash their clothes in.

A few photos of the kids before we took off on our walk/hike.

It was the little twins’ 2nd birthday on this day.  Some of the missionaries that stayed at the compound we stayed in came to get them to take them back to their apartment for some cake and ice cream.  They ended up taking a whole truckfull of kids.

Rosaline:

Her brother , he was not very sure of me and was very unsure of “blanc” people in general.  I had to chase him down for a photo

Rob realllly wanted to take those twins home.

We then took off for a walk, leaving our truck parked at the orphanage.  It is not very far to walk to the foot of the mountain where the stairs lead to go to the fort.  Some photos along the way….

 

The first fort.  It is now in ruins.

A goat eating some of the trash that is alongside the road we walked on.

This truck was driving around.  I thought it comical.

The foot of the stairs we began to climb.

It was a lonnng way up.  And the stairs weren’t there for long.  It was very hot as well.  I snapped photos on my way up.

See the cemetary?

ALMOST to the fort!

I wanted to get a photo of everyone in one of these “windows”…but Tim took off on the other side so didn’t get one of him.

As you can tell, I absolutely love having my photo taken.  I gave the digital camera to Jamie at this point while I shot some film.  He got snap happy, lol but did a great job.  Some of these took, some I took.

Barracks.  I think Jeff wanted to sleep there.

These crack me up.  Love Rob’s expression.

Silly.

This is about the point that I took over.  I didn’t want the camera to break while he was snapping photos of me.

 

The light was sooo beautiful shining through there, and the tree was awesome.  See the cannon that is half buried at the bottom?

Film:

 

A quick snap on Tim’s camera, self timer.  Turned out pretty good!

We then started down the mountain and I took some more photos.

This is the orphanage compound.  It’s pretty big!

Some kids that were along the path on the way down the mountain

 

We could see the kids at the orphanage from this point and they were waiting by the gate and waving to us.  They couldn’t wait for us to get back.  I couldn’t wait to get back to them either.

We were swamped by the kids when we walked back into the gate.  I think they knew we were leaving, that this was the last time we would see them and so they attached themselves onto us like glue.  It was a happy time.  I had my film camera and gave Jamie the digital again…and I am so very thankful for the photos I have of me and these kids.  I am so often behind the camera recording other people’s journey’s and lives and don’t often have the chance to have my own journey and life documented.  I am so thankful.

Love the look on Dahanna’s face here.  These two girls absolutely stole my heart.

 

Some film:

“My” beautiful girl, Jozienne.  I cried over leaving this little girl.

I love how her teeth is missing.  So beautifully cute.

My favorite picture.  Will cherish.

We didn’t get to spend long there.  I could have stayed all day.  One last photo before we departed.

 

We drove out that gate and I burst into tears.  I was completely and utterly heartbroken.  My heart felt like it was ripped in a million pieces.  The rest of the day was very melancholy for me.  I was so sad to be leaving those children.  I truly and wholy fell in love while I was there.  I still think about little Jozienne daily.  Adoption is such an ordeal in Haiti, it takes around 2 years.  We are not ready to do so yet, but maybe someday soon.  I have so much more love in my heart to offer and if I could help one child…then I want to.  I am in the process of sponsoring little Jozienne through the orphanage and another child in the town of Dessalines.

Just an FYI, if you are in the area…. I and a couple of my teammates will be speaking at all 3 services this week about this particular trip.  We will also be providing more information on sponsorship for children in Haiti.  Please check out our church’s website for more services information or feel free to send me an email:  chixieandhoney@Hotmail.com     Crossroads Church website:  www.crossroadson23.com

The remainder of our day consisted of praying at the voodoo caverns and visiting a sick woman in her home to pray for her.  I was an emotional wreck by the time we got back to the compound.  I just felt completely depleted and done.  I was completely emotionally exhausted and had a bit of a breakdown.  I sat outside on the steps in the dark and just cried. I called my husband and sobbed to him…oh how I wish he were with me.  He is such a source of strength for me and I so needed to draw on his strength right then, and I wanted to share this amazing and beautiful experience with him.  Someday I hope we will go together.

We were all having mixed feelings, since this was our last day in Dessalines.  Rob usually played soccer with the boys in the evenings and tonight he did not want to even go out there, because it was too hard to say goodbye.  We were all very much looking forward to getting back to the states and seeing our loved ones.  I missed my family so much it hurt my heart.  I was ready to go home.

I will share more about our last full day in Haiti in my next blog post.  I will be sharing photos taken of the townskids mostly and sharing an amazing story.  Please stay tuned and as always, leave a comment if you stopped by.  :)

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you:  God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.

-John 1:5

Are you getting bored yet?  This day that I will be talking about is Sunday.  Lots and lots of photos from Sunday, so I’m going to split it up into two posts.  Is that okay?  I’ll work on the next one tomorrow.

The first part of Sunday was church.  Church is an OCCASION in Haiti.   People dress in their very best clothes for church.  Their hair is done, their skin is powdered and they are clean.  People are not allowed in the churches unless they have dress clothes and close toed shoes on.  It is a culture thing apparently, but something that disturbed me greatly.  So many people cannot even afford to clothe or put shoes on their children at all, much less get a frilly dress or get some long pants or dress shoes.  Sigh.

We were up early.  As I’ve mentioned before, Haiti is a noisy country.  I slept fitfully every night I was there.  It was very very hot, even with the fan blowing near me on high.  After tossing and turning all night, I eventually just got up.  We all got around for church, dressing in nicer clothing.  The sun was barely up when we left the compound on foot to walk into town to go to the church.  We were some of the first ones there; quite early.  We stood outside the gate and talked with each other and people watched.  I wandered a bit and snapped some photos.  So much beauty in so much poverty.

These are all a mishmash of film and digital.

 

The first photo of the day.  Our team before we head for church, holding the prayer blanket that a wonderful organization out of Toledo, called Quilts of Compassion provided for us, along with the blankets that we gave to the patients in the hospital.

 

The church our teams attend in Dessalines.

 

 

Toilets behind the church.

Schoolhouses behind the church.

Inside of schoolroom:

Children in Haiti come out of the woodwork when you’re holding a camera.  Most of the time it’s the only time they have ever seen themselves, when they look at their photo on the back of your digital camera.  It really freaked them out when I used my film camera and there was no screen on the back

I went back in front of the church and quietly took some more photos.  I just loved this.  Haitians use cacti as a security gate to keep animals (goats and pigs…dogs) and other people out.  I’m sure it works well!

There were many many towns children getting water that morning.

I caught this handsome little man getting ready to go into the church:

As we were all standing outside a young man came up to us and started to speak to Jamie about playing guitar.  He left and within minutes came back with a guitar.  Jamie had said casually that he played so he went and found a guitar because he wanted to hear Jamie play.  Jamie does play well but this boy is truly talented. (Jamie, you’re talented too, but you said yourself you can’t play much bwahaha!)  They would each play something while the other would listen and then the other one would try to play what they just heard.  So much fun.  We were standing in front of the church on the street playing music and singing songs.  So beautiful.  I hope I captured these photos right.  Jamie hated being put on the spot and play but he did so well, we were all so proud of him.

 

People were starting to really show up for church so I just tried to pay attention and get photos when I could.  This has got to be the chubbiest baby in Haiti, isn’t he adorable??

Beautiful little boy

While all this was going on, there were two little boys that lived next to the church that kept coming near us and near the gates.  The little one was shy and would giggle and look away when I tried to take some photos but I caught some nice ones.  He just had a long shirt on and his shoes were at least 2 sizes too small for him.

Then it was time for church.  We filed in and Rob sat in the front while the rest of us sat in the second row.  The pews are narrow benches and not comfortable.  The music started and then the speaking started.  I had no clue what was being said but the music….oh the music.  I wish I could take a photo of what the music sounded like.  The women got up in front of the church…maybe 8 of them, and sang.  Crystal clear voices.  They sang with motion and movement.  I could have listened to them for hours.  Here is a pastor praying at the beginning of the service.

The children were soon squeezed around us and on us.  Jamie sat with an older girl who wanted to learn some English from him from the Bible.  I had 3 little girls on me.  A little boy behind me rubbed my back.  They just can’t keep their hands away from my hair and skin  At one point while I had my arm around two younger girls, I felt one of them lick me.  Yes, they licked my arm.  The second time I had to scold them and they thought that was hilarious.  So funny.  A little boy came and sat uncertainly on my lap and sat for a long while.  The teachers from the schools come to church and keep the kids in line.  It’s amazing how they maintain order!  Those kids will sit for hours in church with minimal disturbances.

Church was over and we presented a prayer blanket to a pastor at the church.  They were so impressed and thankful, and hung it over the railing in the front.

 

Some of the children that sat with me during the service.

 

Some girls that I wanted to capture.  Their dresses, socks and shoes….it was how all the little girls dressed.

 

Looking outside.

 

Some more of the kids.

Stay tuned, this was just from the morning.  We did lots on this day, it was a day for us to do whatever we wanted…and we did a lot.  A lot of sightseeing and more snuggles (and goodbyes) to the children at the orphanage.  Lots more photos to share.  As always…I love reading your comments.  It so warms my heart to know that I am reaching people and touching their hearts.  It makes me hopeful that I’m helping…in my own little way.

March 17.  St. Patrick’s Day in the U.S.  Many people are wearing green, dressing their kids up in clover and leprechaun garb and planning their evenings of drinking green beer.  I’ve done that.  This St. Patrick’s day is different.  It was just another day in Haiti.  Not one of us mentioned the fact that it was a so called “holiday” back home.  It just didn’t matter.  The kids here in Haiti are lucky to be wearing clothes at all, much less a special green shirt, with special bows and special accessories.

I was up earlier than usual this morning, around  5 a.m.  I had a very hard time sleeping in  Haiti…it is an extremely noisy place to be.  Roosters crowing starting in the middle of the night, dogs fighting, loud music from the discos that go all night long, and very loud church services that start late at night and go until all hours of the night.  In addition to that I was on my malaria medicine and the main side effect was “sleep disturbances”.  Tell me about it!

I am, by nature, a sleeper…so for me to be up this early is unusual for me.  It was pretty typical for me while I was in Haiti.  I couldn’t believe I was up before Rob who is a huge ball of energy!  Rob hops out of bed in the morning raring to go and doesn’t stop all day long.  It was exhausting watching him…I wish I had all that energy!  His love for Haiti and it’s people shines through every single day.  Very inspirational.  Anyway….I woke up early and after I was ready for the day I snuck into the boys sleeping quarters and said “Wakey Wakey Sleepyheads!!”  It made them giggle.  It was going to be a good day, I just knew it.

That morning we went to the hospital to visit and pray with the patients.  We had brought about 8 lap quilts from the States that a group of volunteers make and pray over, naming them appropriately “prayer quilts”.  We brought them with us to the hospital to hand out to whomever we wished.  There weren’t many patients there (a good thing!) so we visited every single one there, and they each got a blanket.  I brought my film camera and snapped photos of most of them, which I am sharing below.

This is the Dental Clinic, right across the street from the Hospital.  Basically you go there to get your teeth pulled.  Sounds fun eh?

 

One of the waiting/triage rooms of the hospital.

 

A prayer blanket we gave a sick woman that we had just prayed over.

 

There were two babies there.  Both newborn and sick.  Not sure what was wrong with them…this baby did not look too bad.

This next baby looked and acted very sick.  It’s coloring was not good and was cool to the touch.  When we went back on Monday to visit, they were discharging this baby and we were told it was not doing well, but there was nothing they could do so they were sending them home.  Makes you so sad…it could be something very easily treatable here in the States but medical care is so limited in Haiti…this is why the mortality rate of infants and children under the age of 5 is so high.

Laying on the prayer blanket we had just given the mama.

Sweet, sweet baby.

This man was old.  Apparently he had anemia.  So skinny.

 

After we were finished we went back to the orphanage for our final day of painting.  It was mainly touch up work on the dorms.  This photo was actually taken the day before but it’s what we looked like almost every day  Tim took our photo.  Jeff, Rob, me and Jamie.

It was bath day at the orphanage.  When we arrived all the kids were lined up at the pump getting washed and airing dry.    Saturday is a day of play and more laid back for everyone….preparing for Sunday which is church day and a day or rest.  After the girls had their baths, they all had their hair done.  It was an all day event.

 

I finished all the touching up I could do.  Rob, Jeff and Tim went to the schoolhouse to paint the ceilings (way too tall for me to paint!) so I wandered around and ended up sitting on the roots under this big, old tree.  Within minutes I had kids all vying for my attention.  My hair came out of it’s bun and they were fighting over doing my “blanc” hair.  They were running their hands through it, touch my face, patting my hair.  If they found a stray strand of my hair they would hold it up to their own head and giggle and say “Blanc, blanc!”  There was a little boy who needed some extra love.  He crawled in my lap and sat quietly while he sucked his thumb.  Tim caught a few photos and I am so thankful to have them.

Jamie joined me when he was finished with the high parts.  We just sat there and giggled with the kids.  It was lunch time and the other guys came back and hung out for a few.

 

 

Then we broke for lunch and went back.  This day was by far my favorite day.  Showing love and spending time with these beautiful children gave me such a sense of fulfillment like I’ve never experienced before.  Love knows no boundaries.  There is no language barrier when you’re expressing love and showing God’s love and compassion for one another.  It is part of being human, part of the human experience.

Jamie and I were there alone at the orphanage while the other guys finished up at the school.  I sat quietly on a bench and gave an 11 month old baby girl, a bottle of water and she fell asleep in my arms.  I listened to the chatter of the women and just watched everyone around me.  I found myself again under the tree and fell fast in love with a little spitfire named Dahana.  I sang “Jesus Loves Me”  ”Twinkle Twinkle” “Bicycle Built For Two” “You are My Sunshine” and the Barney song.  All the songs I have sung to all of my own children since they were newborns.  When I was finished singing a song Dahana would pat herself and say “I sing”.  She would sing something in Creole.  Sweet music.  Then we would again sing “Jesus loves Me”….I sang in English and she sang along with me in Creole.  It was amazing. More braiding and combing my hair.

The little spitfire Dahana:

 

A lot of the older kids were napping or resting by this time and then it was just the little ones mostly running around.  Jamie started playing basketball with a girl of 14 who had a serious crush on him.  It was amusing.  She would wink at him and tell him how beautiful he was.  It is still a great source of teasing for him.

 

I “borrowed” a baby out of one of the dorms, she was just hanging out in a crib so I scooped her up and went outside.  She wasn’t too sure of me at all.

 

A little girl came over to sit with me when she saw me take the photo above.  She is the daughter of one of the graduated orphans who lives in town and comes in to work every day.  Such a beautiful sweetheart!

 

I then handed her the camera and she was giddy with excitement.  I turned it on auto and this is what she got.  When I downloaded them I cracked up….it looks like I photoshopped this boy into the photos.  The flash went off when she took these, giving it the look they have, hehehe

 

I have so many photos of that little guy!  He followed me everywhere when I broke out my cameras!

A few more photos from that afternoon.

 

One of the women sorting and cleaning the rice:

Dahana again:

 

After our day was completed at the orphanage we took a quick drive out into the countryside.  I rode on the tailgate with Tim so I could snap some photos.  Haiti is so beautiful.  Full of green fields and rocky rolling mountains.

 

 

 

What a full day this was!

One quick shot of the kids at the gate at the compound.  Love this shot.  I’ll share more of these kids on my next blog post.  I hope you are enjoying my stories.  Please please stop by and let me know you read, leave a comment!

I’m slacking, I know!  I’ve been keeping this blog post in the back of my mind for awhile now, since this, in my mind, is one of the important ones.  This one is about the kiddos.  Those beautiful, bright eyed children.  The orphanage kids.

About 40 years ago, a couple from Michigan named Don & Doris Peavey felt a call in their hearts to go to Haiti.  They and their four children sold practically everything they owned and moved to Dessalines, Haiti where they started an orphanage, called Ebenezer Glenn Orphanage .  This orphanage is pretty self sustaining…and a very safe place for displaced children to live.  They are fed, clothed, basic medical needs are attended to, and given schooling.  They are brought up with good values and morals.  Graduates of EGO are now nurses, accountants, worship leaders, teachers and computer operators.  These kids are given a chance at life.  These are the lucky ones. They do depend on the grace and generosity of others to help them going and their needs are almost always met…however they can always use more help.  The Peaveys are close to 80 and are looking for a couple to replace them in this endeavor as it is time for them to come back to the states to live out the rest of their years here.  What a wonderful, awesome couple they are.  Full of love and full of God.  All the kids call them “Mom and Dad”.

When we arrived at the orphanage on the first day the small kids were eating rice and beans.  I scoooped up a baby out of a walker and sat down and within minutes we each had 5 or 6 kids pushing and shoving to sit on our laps.  I wasn’t sure how to react or how to act, but I decided to let them lead me.  We giggled and talked and touched and it was beautiful.

The second day we were there I didn’t have a ton of interaction with them as I was working and then rested in the afternoon.

Now it’s Friday.  We worked and painted all day this day but I took some time during the day now and then to walk around and peek into the daily life of the orphanage.  This blog post will be VERY image heavy  Hope you don’t get bored.

While the men continued painting, I went and grabbed my camera and started to wander.  The kids and women were still a little unsure of me there and I was unsure of *myself* with how much I could ask, etc.  A teacher came outside while I was talking to an itty bitty child and told me I could come into the school houses.  So I did.  All of these images in the school house(s) are taken with my film camera as the light was so…non existent and my digital camera couldn’t handle that low of light.  I first went into the school where it housed the tiny ones.  1, 2 and 3 year olds.  WOW…did I ever want to scoop them all up and sneak them in my suitcase and bring them home!  These children…ALL of them, are just strinkingly beautiful.  Beautiful skin, and bright sparkling eyes, and they just want your love and attention.  Most of them have a big smile for you at the ready at all times.

 

 

I then just peeked my head into the other school rooms.  Those teachers have COMPLETE control over those children, let me tell you!  They tell them to sit up and look at me and they all do…very quiet and inquisitive.  I only snapped a few before I moved on.  I spent the most time with the little ones.

 

Don’t you love all of those bright, blue uniforms?  Every school in Haiti has uniforms and they are all different colors.  It is always a gingham checked shirt with a coordinating solid fabric.  All the girls wear skirts or dresses, as do the women.  All of these particular uniforms were hand made at the orphanage.  I can’t imagine having to sew allll those uniforms for all those kids!  Amazing.  A lot of these kids are children from town as well….they come in from town to go to school here.  The orphanage houses approximately 50 children at a time.  I did a little research and it appears that only a little more than half of school age children attend school.  To attend school, it costs money.  Attending school is very important but often doesn’t happen due to the lack of money for the families.  Less than 2 percent of children go or finish secondary school.  Literacy rate is about 50%.  This is why, in my opinion, sponsoring a child is so very important.  Sponsoring a child will help a child go to school and give them a CHANCE in life.  I will provide more information on how to do this at the end of this post.

Some of the children in the orphanage have at least one parent.  Many times the mother dies either during birth of a child or from poor medical care and so the father will have to bring the child to the orphanage because they cannot feed them.  It breaks my heart even though it is a very loving thing to do for their child.

As I said earlier…the orphanage is pretty self sustaining.  They have a windmill that helps to pump water within the tanks full of farmed fish.  They have huge gardens for vegetables.  They have many goats for meat and milk.  Rice and beans have to be bought and is provided with the money that people like you, provide, to feed the children.

 

This is a solar bread oven that was installed by a missions team about a year ago.  It makes THE most delicious bread!  Isn’t that awesome?

As I was walking around a couple of the older girls came out of one of the dorms gesturing to me asking me to take a photo.  They got these kids all dressed up and stood them in front of the newly painted dorm.  Rob said to me….”Isn’t that awesome?  Look what you’re doing!  They got these kids dressed up, just for you….because  YOU painted that dorm and YOU’RE taking their photos.”  It made my heart hurt and I felt so incredibly humble.  Look at these beautiful, gorgeous children.

The two little ones on the right are twins.   The little girl on the left is about a month younger than the twins!  That’s Cindy.   They are beyond gorgeous.  And so happy.

 

Here are some sweet paintings that is in the dorms.

 

Another thing I want to mention is the women that work and care for the children.  A lot of the women live and sleep at the orphanage and in turn they are fed and cared for.  They sleep in the dorms with the children and are with them day in and day out.  Some are young, some are old.  Some of the younger women are graduates of the orphanage and now come every day to work there.  They are good, caring women and love these children as their own.  They are stern and dole out discipline when needed but I never saw too many incidents where the kids were acting crazy or out of hand.  Just being kids.  Sweet and mannerly kids which is awesome!

This day I caught one of the women ironing.  I was intrigued.  She showed me the iron, it has charcoal in it and is very hot.  They iron EVERYTHING.  And I mean everything…even the little diaper covers.  After I took a few photos she handed the iron to me to let me try my hand at it.  I didn’t do so well.  One of the girls was coming over and inspecting what I was doing and it definitely was not up to par.  It made me giggle.  I tried to explain that not many people iron over here in the states…we either wear it wrinkly or toss it in the dryer.  They couldn’t comprehend it.  I took the photo of the iron with film and then one of the kids took the photo of me ironing.  (You can see one of the girls examining my work on a denim vest, lol!)

 

After lunch I walked around some more and caught up with the kids playing on the playground.  A missions team came in and built this for them, how wonderful!  Here are some photos.  Let them speak for themselves.

These kids are kicking around a fabric ball.

 

Gahh!  She is just so hauntingly beautiful.

 

 

 

The little girl Jozienne that stole my heart from the beginning.

 

Her twin:

 

After the playground I walked around near the well and the kitchen.  Caught this one of the women preparing food in the kitchen.  I posted photos of the “stove” in the kitchen in the previous blog post.

I have so many photos of this little boy.  He loved the camera.  Look at him pose!

This is Francine, or “Frankie”.  He has been at the orphanage a very long time.  When he was a baby his father tried to strangle him to offer him up as a human sacrifice.  He loved to run up to us and give us a fist bump.

 

Part of the Peavy’s home on the compound.  The upstairs is theirs, the downstairs is the little’s schoolhouse.  They have solar powered warm water, generators, etc.  Very self sustaining.

The dorm where the little’s live.

 

And now the fun part.  How can YOU help these kids?  So many people can’t for one reason or another travel internationally to do missions work and that’s fine.  It’s NOT for everyone, definitely!  But many many people want to help but have no idea how.  The biggest way to help?  Pray.  Pray for these kids, and for the people of Haiti.  Pray that their conditions improve, the government improves…and they get the resources they need to help themselves.  The next best way is to donate money.  You can donate money and KNOW FOR SURE THE MONEY IS GETTING THERE by sponsoring a child.  I am in the process of sponsoring two children.  One from Dessalines (in the town) and one from the orphanage.  When you sponsor from International Child Care (Ministries) only a tiny portion goes for administration purposes.  Our church uses this organization to sponsor children. It is completely legit, I promise.  You can pick your child and be sure that your money goes to THAT child to help them get schooling, food and medical care.  You could make such a huge impact on a little one’s life.  So many of these kids don’t have food, no access to medical care and definitely no schooling.  All of those things we take for granted here…as one of our rights.  Here is a link to International Child Care Ministries For $25 a month you could help a little girl or boy get what they need. Just think…that is a video game. Or a few starbucks a month. A lunch for one or two. People say “I don’t have the extra money for that right now.” Almost all of us can find $25 a month, by cutting something out. Something we don’t need anyway.

You can also directly help the orphanage. You can sponsor a child through the orphanage but the money you send will directly affect ALL of the kids there. It is either $40 or $60 a month. A bit more, but I am anxious to do it since I have been there…and know the people and have hugged and kissed the children. I can provide their rice and beans for a week with my funds that I will send. This is why I share these photos. I hope that it brings you closer to them. To *want* to help them. To help save these kids…to help give them a chance in life. Here is a link to the orphanage and a sponsorship link:
Ebeneezer Glen Orphanage . Please…take some time to pray about it. If I could get just ONE child sponsored in Haiti through my blog…it can make a difference! Please let me know if you find it in your heart to do so. If you have ANY questions, please contact me!

This was a full day for me. In the morning, we were gathered around the table at the compound, preparing for chapel. Rob reminded us that any of us could do a devotional. He has said that many times and I just giggled and waved him away. I grabbed a bible and opened it up to my favorite verse. I thought it fitting and decided to use it for devotional on this morning. It was a huge step for me. My first public spiritual experience. I felt so grateful and at peace. This verse has helped me in so many times…and maybe, just maybe…it will help you as you are reading it now.

Matthew 11:30 –
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Let me be honest here.  I’m having an incredibly difficult time getting back into my “normal” after my experience in Haiti.  I don’t want to be back to my old normal.  I like that my eyes have opened up.  I love that my heart feels full.  I just don’t know what to do with it all.  I am feeling a whole mix of jumbled up emotions and I’m not entirely sure how to sort them all out, because…well, I like to have them all neat and boxed up so I can go through them one by one.

I’m thinking this all might be a test.

A test from God.  To see how I use what I have learned and gained.  There are a few little seeds planted, in my heart and my head…and I’m just sitting here going…”What now, God?  What do I do now?”  Unfortunately I am still an impatient person so the thought that this will all take TIME and patience is driving me crazy

I feel wrecked and ruined.  But all for the good.  Now I have to piece myself back together and stitch myself back up into the Me I’m happy to see.

Found this online this morning and thought it fitting:

I’m having a very hard time putting my feelings into words.  It will come.  For now, let’s go on to Day 3.

Up nice and early this morning….not sleeping well has the plus side of hopping right out of bed at 6 a.m.  Who would have thought I was a morning person?  Our mornings consist of us all getting up and getting ready for the day and then going into the communal room at the compound for a light breakfast on our own, meditation, praying and getting online.  I had more questions for Rob this morning from Exodus, and was happy to have them answered in a way I could relate to and understand.  Chapel is at 8 a.m., at the hospital so we hopped in the truck and made our way there.

Taken before chapel, on the roof of the hospital:

 

This morning was my first day of Haitian Chapel at the hospital.  Dr’s and nurses at the hospital are expected to attend, every morning.  Here is the pastor, doing a bit of a teaching and chatting with us.  He does some teaching and encourages us to do a devotional every day.

 

“Bibla” (Creole Bible)

We sang a few hymns, in Creole, even though we had NO clue what we were saying or singing.  The Creole language is just beautiful to listen to.  Pastor did a teaching and so did Rob.  Right after Chapel we headed into the hospital to visit patients but…there weren’t any!  This is always a good thing.  I walked around and snapped a few photos, with my film camera, of course…so I don’t have anything to show you right now.  Those are coming hopefully very soon!

This house was right across from the hospital and I could see it from the roof where I had been standing earlier.  I thought it was beautiful so once we got into the street I had to take a few photos of it.

 

Just a street view in the early morning.  Love the light.

We then headed to the orphanage where we began our painting.  We made a goal to get three buildings completely repainted (on outside) in addition to a few of the classrooms in the new schoolhouse for the orphanage.  It was mundane and very hot work, but good for all of us.  It gave us time for quiet reflection, mindless chitchatter, and to just “be” in our surroundings.  We were surrounded by many goats running around, a few bulls, a couple dogs, and a few little ones.  The rest of the kids were all in school.  We could listen to the chitchat of the women who were working there and wonder what they were talking about.  Every now and then throughout our visit we could hear “Blanc” and know they were speaking of us, but had no idea what.  The language barrier was extremely frustrating for me on this day and I was starting to not feel very well.  I think the heat and lack of rest was finally wearing on me.  I didn’t get a whole lot of digital photos this day, but the NEXT blog post will be extremely image heavy.  (I went into the school buildings and took photos of all of the kiddos in their classrooms, but with my film camera since I could use it in lower light…the classrooms were pretty dark).

Here’s what I did get on this day.

Me painting (this wasn’t taken by me obviously…or even with my camera…but it goes along with the story so I am posting it.  Thanks Tim!)

One of the many many goats at the orphanage.  They are penned up a lot but are also let out many times during the day to eat and just run around.  Goats are a huge staple in this culture…for meat and for milk.

 

The women were doing laundry this morning.  The water pump was always at work, being pumped by everyone.  This well is the life of the orphanage.  This is where they bathe, wash their clothes, cook, everything.  It was rare to see nobody near the water pump.

 

Every morning, cooking is going on.  This is part of the kitchen.  They are making massive amounts of rice, beans and usually a stew concoction for the kids for their afternoon meal.  When they are finished cooking and have emptied the pots, they call the animals in to eat out of those pots.  It cracked me up every day.

A couple photos of the indoor kitchen they use inside one of the dorms:

One of the many animals at the orphanage:

 

Laundry hanging out to dry:

I caught this one of this sweet boy.  He is a twin to a gorgeous little girl.  You’ll see more of them both soon.

 

We broke for lunch after painting all morning.  After lunch I decided to lay down and ended up sleeping most of the afternoon.  The rest of the team went back to the orphanage to paint more.  It stormed a crazy storm while they were there, so really I did not miss much.  I woke up alone in the compound, late afternoon and was feeling lonely, so I went outside to snap some photos.  I was trying to sneak a few of the boys playing soccer across the little street from the compound when the little ones caught me and came running.  I was just finishing up when the guys drove up; they were finished for the day.  I was happy to have some company again.  I knew tomorrow would be a better day.

I got to skype with my husband and kids this night and it made all of my heartsickness feel better for the time being.  I was starting to miss my kids faces, and missing the support of my husband while I was feeling so down.  It definitely uplifted me to hear them and see them!

A beautiful Haitian sunset, taken from behind the compound wall.

 

Thanks so much for going on this journey with me.  Leave a comment to let me know you were here.  Your comments and emails are so uplifting to me, I am so glad that I have been blessed to be able to share this story with you all.

I’ve had so many people email me, message me, and call me to let me know how much they are enjoying my Haiti stories and photos.  That means so much to me.  I hope to reach a whole boatload of people through my blog and stories…to bring an awareness of the Haitian culture and it’s people…especially the children.

I’m back into the daily grind here at home and finding it difficult.  Don’t get me wrong…I missed my family terribly and came home with a whole new appreciation of my husband and my kids.  I think sometimes we all take each other for granted in life, and sometimes it takes something life changing to realize that we shouldn’t.

Hold your love ones close.  Tell them how much you love them.  Show them how much you love them.  Let the little things go, because it’s not important.

I came back to the States with my eyes wide open.  The excess of STUFF that we all have…and NEED, or think we need, more.  I was hanging up some clothes in my son’s closet yesterday and I thought to myself how a typical Haitian would fall over at the amount of clothes hanging in this closet.  And there wasn’t that much, a few shirts, pants and a couple jackets.  I came home feeling overwhelmed at all of the crap we have, and the realization that truly we are all so entitled. It’s all part of our culture.  I actually really envy a lot of the Haitian culture.  There is a complete sense of community and simplistic nature… if only by necessity.  Everyone helps each other, because if they didn’t, they wouldn’t survive.

On to Day 2.

We were up early, in Xaragua, anxious to get to Dessalines where we would spend our week.  We packed the truck back up and headed out.  Our first stop was “The Beachhouse”…as it’s been named.  This house on the beach is owned by part of the association that our church and the missions that we run are a part of (a large organization) and is empty.  There is talk of getting it back up and running and then we wouldn’t have to stay at Xaragua when teams come in, we could stay instead at the Beachhouse as a halfway point.  It is empty and we could see squatters in there hiding.  We did not go inside.  There is a wall surrounding the place and if it were to be restored there would have to be armed guards stationed there at all times to keep squatters and vandals (stealing) out.

The view right out back:

The view from that pier:

 

And our first group photo (sorry Jamie, it’s the only one I had!  )

 

Then we got back on the road for another 2 hour drive or so.  It was Wednesday, which is a very big Market day in all parts of Haiti.  A passing shot:

I mentioned “TapTaps” in my previous post.  This is a Haitian taxi.  It could be a motorcycle, a truck, a bus…anything that moves. They pile as many people as possible on them.  Here was an interesting way to ride… see the boy behind the ladder?

We stopped in Saint Marc to go to the grocery store.  A very small grocery store but they had the coffee we wanted to take back to the States and they accepted American money.  I think we cleaned them out of their stock of good coffee!

We arrived in Dessalines and was just pulling up the two track up to the compound and Tim jumped out of the back of the truck and threw up.  We assumed he was car sick since he rode in the bed of the truck facing backwards.  Turns out, we are pretty sure he had food poisoning.  He was sick for 2 days.  Word to the wise…don’t eat salad in Haiti when you don’t know for sure that it’s been prepared properly.  He was the only one that ate some lettuce/salad in Xaragua so we are thinking that was the problem.  We all felt so bad for him.

We arrived at the compound and were assigned our rooms.  We met the cook, Chaupette who is a beautiful and tiny little Haitian woman with so much love in her eyes and heart.  She cooked an awesome Haitian meal for lunch (and every day after while we were there).  Beans and rice are a Haitian staple, and lots of seasonings and spices.  I was eating something that I thought was beef but it turned out to be goat.  I’m the type of person that will eat most anything if I don’t know what it is.  I had a hard time eating it after that.  So I just said…”Don’t tell me what I’m eating”.

Jacquelin then took us to Market down in Dessalines.  We walked there in a little group.  I wanted to take as many photos as possible but so many people do not want their photos taken, so I had to be careful of what I was pointing my camera at.  The sights, sounds and smells were so overwhelming.  People are stacked on top of each other, so much yelling, the sun was blazing hot and the smell of garbage, rotting food, unwashed bodies were all encompasing.  I’m so glad that I got to see it but I didn’t have any desire to go through again.  Here are some photos of Market day:

This beautiful woman gave her permission to have her photo taken…and Rob gave her a coin in thanks.

Goats waiting to be bought and slaugtered:

This was part of the meat market.  Let me just say that I would not be sad if I never got to see another Haitian meat market.  I didn’t photograph the gory stuff, only this.  There were flies everywhere and I breathed through my mouth as we quickly went through this room.

The smell of fresh bread was very welcome when we walked out of the room above:

Another beautiful woman willing to pose for me.  She was selling rice and beans.  It is not common to see an older Haitian, since the life expectancy averages right around 50 years of age.

We saw a lot of charcoal and piles of wood (sticks) for sale since it is still “chilly” in the mountains at night.  I wanted to photograph the women who were selling the charcoal as they were pitch black from the dust but I didn’t get a good vibe so I didn’t ask.

 

After visiting the market we drove around Dessalines, visiting the Hospital, picking up some Soda and ice and Rob showing us where some things were.  We then took a drive over to where some Dr’s quarters were being built in the town.  A Canadian missionary, named Ian, who is 76 years old, spends a huge amount of time in Dessalines helping in so many ways.  He was overseeing the building of these quarters for some Haitian drs to live in with their families.  He is a tall and kind and gentle man with a true love for the Haitian people.  He told us of Rosanna, a women who was begging him for help.  Her home was falling down around her and the 15 people (including a sister and mother, and a gaggle of kids) who lived with her.  Ian decided to build her a new house, 3 rooms.  Ian said the house was torn down by removing 4 nails and just simply pushing it over.  We walked through her tiny little new cement home, with her beaming from ear to ear.  She was so proud of her new home.  They had no beds, and the children no clothes.  A daughter of hers, maybe around 9, came walking in the door dragging one side of her body since she is paralyzed on one side.  Another little girl there had orange hair, which means that she is slowly dying from malnutrition. We walked outside while Ian spoke with the family and a tin bowl blew over from the makeshift table in their “kitchen” (meaning…a few rocks to prop up a large pot to cook whatever she can come up with, and sometimes cooking nothing).  The bowl had some rice in it and some of it got on Jamie’s feet.  We were filthy from riding and walking all day.  Rosanna bent down and cleaned off Jamie’s leg, she was so concerned that he had something on him.  I turned my head with tears in my eyes.  I did not want them to see me cry.  They were so proud of a situation that I saw as horrible.  It was so incredibly humbling.

We visited the orphanage where we each had 5 kids crawling on us and touching us.  It was a sweet end to a long day.

That evening I was in the compound discussing the day with my teammates.  I asked “How can anyone ever make a difference?  Where do you even start?”  I was feeling so defeated and sad over what I had seen that day.  I was so overwhelmed.

A man that was also staying there said to me “Have you ever heard the starfish story?”  I said that I hadn’t.  He told me this story:

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed
a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.

Approaching the boy, he asked, What are you doing?

The youth replied, Throwing starfish back into the ocean.
The surf is up and the tide is going out.  If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.

Son, the man said, don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish?
You can’t make a difference!

After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish,
and threw it back into the surf.  Then, smiling at the man, he said
I made a difference for that one.

That story moved me to tears.  I kept it in mind and retold it several times.  A photographer friend told it to me again after I got back home and was voicing some of my frustrations over feeling like there’s so much need….and I’m only one person.  I was again feeling defeated and frustrated because my heart ached to go back and “do” more.  The story is an inspiration and I keep reminding myself of it.

Here’s a quick iPad snap of Rob playing soccer with the townkids outside the compound.  That is Rob’s passion…playing soccer with the boys.  Everytime he goes, he brings several soccer balls.  They all know him by name and want their own ball.

I hope you are enjoying my journal of Haiti.  Please leave a comment to let me know you are visiting and reading, I would love to hear from you!

Hello everyone!  I did it!  I went to Haiti…and came back.  I’m home.  It is so good to be here.

First of all, I want to thank each and every one of my sponsors who helped to make this trip possible.  You helped in more ways than you know.  I am still completely bowled over by the good and generosity of people.  I am so thankful for each and every one of you.  Thank you.

As I have said…I have wanted to go to Haiti for some time now.  I felt a call to go, felt a tug in my heart that it was something I had to do.  I now know without a doubt that I was meant to go to Haiti, on this particular trip.  I came home a different person.  And that’s not a bad thing.  My time in Haiti has changed my life.  In little ways…and in big ways.  I knew that it would change my life…..I just didn’t know how or how much.

I am planning to do a blog post of photos and snippets of each day I was in Haiti.  I hope that by doing this I can take you along for the ride…and to help give you a sense of what I felt and saw.  I still can’t convey the sounds, or the smells….oh the smells.  But I can try to explain each photo that I show….and tell the story of Haiti through my eyes and my heart.  I have a TON of film images that I took as well…sometimes I only used my film camera, but those will have to wait a week or so until I get my scans back.

March 13, 2012.

I got about 1 hour of sleep before I had to be up at 2 a.m.  I had been having trouble sleeping since I started my malaria medication, as it’s one of the main side effects.  I was already packed and was ready by the time Jamie got here.  The kids were at my inlaws.  Justin took Jamie and I to the airport in Detroit and we were there before everyone else.  Our flight left at 6:30 a.m. to Miami, where we had a 5 hour layover.  We had lunch and walked around a bit, and rested.  We were all very anxious to be on our way to our destination.

I was giddy with excitement once we boarded that plane to Port Au Prince!  (Forgive the crappy ipad photos   )

 

 

The scenes out our plane window was breathtaking:

Flying over Haiti:

 

The airport was interesting.  We immediately had to go into immigration where a cranky Haitian immigration guy looked at our paperwork and stamped our passports.  My first passport stamp!

Beyond that, it was mass chaos.  A zillion Haitian men come up to you and try to grab your baggage, even though we tell them No, No, No!  They all have to escort you to your vehicle and if one happens to grab your bag and throw it into the truck, they expect a tip.  If one guy gets a tip, they’re all mad that they didn’t get tipped as well.  Jacquelin came from Dessalines to drive us.  Rob rode in front of truck with Jacquelin and I rode in backseat with Jamie.  Most of these photos are taken through the truck windows.  Jeff and Tim rode with our luggage in the bed of the truck.

Backstory:  Jacquelin is a Haitian man of 34 years old.  He grew up at the orphanage that I visited from the time he was 4 until 28 years old.  He is now employed by the orphanage and by the missionary compound that I stay at.  Jacquelin is invaluable to us, as well as all of the missions teams that he drives around, as he knows which roads are safe, he knows the culture and he acts as our interpretor as well.  He gets us where we need to go in a safe and efficient way.  He is such a good man, we hope to get him to America someday to visit.

My first shot:  pulling out of the airport and off the side of the road.  There is a lone man standing on the sidewalk.  Apparently this is how you do your currency exchange.  It made me laugh.

 

The next set are photos that I was taking out of the truck window.  Things that caught my eye.  A taste of everyday life in the city of Port Au Prince, the capital of Haiti.

These motorcycles function as taxis.  It’s an inexpensive way to get around, and they like to cram 3 or 4 people on the bike.  They are crawling all over Haiti.  People will sell their land, their gardens, to be able to buy a bike to work as a taxi or “TapTap” as they are called.  When they make enough money, they buy some more land.

 

A glimpse at a cemetary in Haiti.  It seems that some people have better housing once they have passed then when they were alive.

 

My eyes were as round as saucers taking it all in.  So overwhelming.  I couldn’t believe the sheer mass of people, everywhere you looked.  Traffic was literally bumper to bumper.  There are no traffic rules.  A two lane road quickly becomes a four lane road with motorcycles zipping in between vehicles.  Jacquelin was getting a kick out of me in the backseat and my exclamations

There are skinny dogs, cattle, goats and chickens literally everywhere.  People look angry and mistrustful in the city.  It made me feel a little uneasy.

This next photo shows a small drying up river with garbage everywhere and people bathing and washing in the water.  Those are homes up on the bank.

We arrived in Xaragua after approximately a 2 hour drive.  This is the halfway point to our final destination.  It is not safe to travel after dark so we stay in a large hotel owned by an old Polish man.  It is right on the ocean and the view is spectacular.  Photos of that on the last post.  For now here is the hotel.

The view right out my room door.

Looking down the “hallway” outside my door:

 

Accomodations are definitely not like they are in the States  I had my own room and each of the guys shared a room.  I was nervous sleeping in the room alone.  I had no blanket and when I went downstairs before bed to ask for one the man told me NO and then went and grabbed a gun and walked outside.  I was a little unnerved.  Armed guards surrounded the hotel as added security.  Thank goodness I slept mostly through the night….as apparently Tim and Jamie heard a gunshot right under our window a little after midnight.  I would have come unglued if I had heard that!  We have no idea what the problem was, though it was probably somebody trying to steal something.  Here is my room.  (Before I went to sleep I put a heavy chair in front of my door, hahaha)

 

Before bed we had our first devotional.  Talking with Jamie and Rob, they encouraged me to start reading the Bible.  Jamie recommended Exodus.  So that is where I began. I read 4 chapters that first night.  It’s a big step for me.