Well.. there He goes again. God. Smacking me upside the head. Apparently I need it. God is funny and He has quite the sense of humor. There’s a saying that goes something like this…
“If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.”
Last March, I went on a whirlwind missions trip with my church to Haiti. That trip changed my life and changed my outlook on so many different things. I came back heartbroken and healed, all at once. I yearned to go back and try to make more of a difference. Well, as we all know… Life gets in the way. It just does. Things happen, things change, and life goes on.
When I returned from a week in Haiti I was overflowing. With love..for the human race and for myself. That is the first time I experienced love for myself..ever. Strange, huh? I see a counselor from time to time who owns a missions organization in Haiti (ironic) and she told me once: ”You were exactly who God meant you to be, while you were in Haiti. You were stripped of all of your daily responsibilities and all of the “junk” that you deal with (that we all deal with) on a day to day basis. You had the chance to just be YOU.” She was exactly right. I was just me. I wasn’t Mom, Wife, Sister, Daughter, Cook, Chauffer, Maid, Friend…I was just Tara. It was so exhilarating and freeing to see who I am and who I am meant to be. For the first time ever, I loved myself. Being me…was enough. I know that some will understand that, and some won’t, and that’s ok. I’ve battled pretty extreme self esteem issues all of my life so this was pretty monumental for me.
The night before I came home I was on the phone with my husband Justin, trying to convey to him the overflow that I was feeling in my heart. I didn’t feel much interest from him, and he told me in no uncertain terms, that he had no interest in ever going to Haiti. It crushed me, as I so wanted to share this with him. I felt that it would strengthen us as a unit and give him a different outlook on some things as well. I felt some struggles when I returned home and immersed myself back into our daily lives, as I didn’t know how to share with him how I was feeling inside…especially since I felt like he was so disinterested.
Life eventually returned back to “normal”.
Fast forward to a week ago.
Without delving into too much, I was talking to a pastor at church about my Haiti experience and how I feel like I *need* that again. He said to me “You and Justin are going on the next Haiti trip, you don’t have a choice.” Wait…both of us? Really? When? Oh..in MARCH? Like…5 weeks away, March? Yes. There just happened to be enough space for the two of us to go, with the same leader who took me last year.
Justin readily agreed. Isn’t it ironic how things can change? God sure does have a sense of humor!
So now we are in the process of quickly getting a passport for Justin, along with immunizations, which cost a considerable amount of money. We do have half of the trip covered, but right now we are praying that we can somehow scrape up the remaining half, about $1500. This trip really isn’t an option for us, it’s a necessity, for so many reasons. I am excited and anxious and a little apprehensive.
Now I’m going to ask you, my readers and my friends, for your help. If you can find it in your heart to contribute to our trip, we would be eternally grateful. If you can’t contribute monetarily, I ask for your prayers.
I encourage you to go through my blogging about my last trip in March, you can start here and follow the links to the days after:
http://chixieandhoney.com/blog/?p=800
If you would like to contribute towards our trip, please click the Donate button below. Thank you so much <3
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by Chixie
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